It’s been a while since my last OOTK. The last two got so much more success than I thought they would that instead of happily writing the next one, I instead spend not weeks, but two whole months trying to write the perfect topic. Spoiler alert: the perfect topic that doesn’t exist.

As soon as I finally let go (fascinating what happens when we finally do that, isn’t it?) I had an experience that I knew I not only wanted to share but I needed to share. I needed to share it because I don’t want you spending ONE more second living the narrative that someone else has written for your life.

It’s simple: as I was watching Alice in Wonderland again, the mad hatter uttered “you are the youest you there will ever be.” This was days after my girlfriend Racquida said not only the same words to me, but went on to include that I am on a journey with no wrong twists or turns, and not to deny the world its once chance “to your greatness and to bask in your brilliance” (I have amazing friends). Surely, this was the biggest sign that I needed to share this with you. Then, if those signs weren’t enough, a podcast came on my radar and the words were uttered “they were upset that I wasn’t living the story they have crafted for my life.”

Living YOUR life and YOUR life story

It’s simple: you are the only you that will ever be – that means you need to live your life NOW. I’m not even talking just about work, but everything. You are in control of your own life, never forget that. Sometimes we can get caught, twisted and warped and we wake up one day and wonder how did we ever “lead” this life when it felt like we were merely our shadow following along? When my friend Jodi died, I made a promise to her that I would live every day to the fullest. Whenever I feel myself slipping, I glance at the teddy bear on my bedside table that she got me and remind myself of that. You have one life. Ensure you’re living the story YOU want to live.

Without the rain, there are no flowers. 

There is no perfect path. Every path, even the best path for you, will be filled with bends, twists, cracks and rocks. But it’s your path, so every single time you trip, you get back up knowing this is your story. If I had decided to live the story that was crafted by me for other people, I would still be baking cakes on the side while doing law, and probably in a completely different position. Choosing my own path and my own story was met with GREAT disdain. My parents and my husband and a lot of my family and friends supported me 100%, but for every 5 people that supported me, there was one strong willed person telling me I was making a mistake. That I was wasting years of school. That I needed to open a bakery. That I, that I…that I – their narrative for my life. You see – sometimes we think the right path will be greeted with endless support, and immediate success, but know that if the opposite happens, it doesn’t mean that you’re on the right path. Without the rain, there are no flowers.
If you’re looking for a sign to drop your fake story and to start living your real story; this is it. It doesn’t need to be as life changing switching careers or moving countries, although it could. It could be as simple as finally going after your goals and dreams – big and small – standing up for yourself in a conversation, sharing your opinion instead of hiding in the background, or finally deciding – NO I do not want tomatoes on my sandwich please stop putting them. My point is, it’s your story – no one can tell you how big or small your change can be. Just make the change. Live the life you want and NEED. Use every day wisely – your time and energy is precious and should be used in ways that are guaranteeing the best life for you.

Tips for Moving in the Right Direction For You

So, maybe you want to make that change, but it still scares you. Or you KNOW this isn’t the life you want to live but you’re not sure what is. These are my tips for guiding you in the right direction:
1. Get yourself into a calm state of mind, and begin to visualise. What makes you happy? I wrote an entire post about this, and knowing what makes you happy, means you can make an actionable list on how to do those things that make you happy. For example, if breathing fresh mountain air makes you happy, then maybe an actionable thing is to take a lift to the top of a mountain, or even to hike it. Don’t try and picture what you think is the right thing – simply visualise what’s already in your heart.
2. Write down your goals. Big or small, they all add up. Do this after you know what makes you happy. Do you want to finally make that big move? Or adopt that pet? Having your goals written down makes them real and you can make real steps towards them.
3a. Start a vision board. This, without a doubt, has been one of the most powerful things for me. Not only am I manifesting my goals, but it is a daily reminder that I am living my best life and need to continue doing that. On the days where I’m confused or have been met with negative comments regarding my lifestyle, my vision board reminds me of where my life is going and where I want it to keep going.
 3b. This is so crucial – remember the blue sky. This comes from my meditation teacher Andy who owns the app Headspace. There is a crucial lesson he has – when your head is cloudy and doubtful or angry or lost, like a stormy sky, remember that beneath that all is a clear blue sky. Just because you can’t see it at that time doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. This is why I love my vision board. When I feel like I should give up (yes, I’ve had those terrible thoughts a few times over the last year of blogging full time) I go back to my vision board. I’m reminded that the strong woman who designed it is who I truly am, and what I truly want, even if I don’t want it in that moment. Don’t make rash decisions in these moments. Remember that blue sky and wait for it again – it’ll come back.
4. Listen to your gut – always, always listen to your gut. It will give you the surest guidance.

READS/LISTENING MATERIALS

You are a Badass by Jen Sincero. Honestly, this book will help to realise JUST how much what you have to offer the world matters. It will get you in the right frame of mind to realise that you are indeed a badass.

NPR’s How I Built This with Guy Raz, Episode – Carol’s Daughter: Lisa Price

I love How I Built This with Guy Raz! This podcast shares the stories of entrepreneurs and creates and how they built their own empires. I love it because their stories are all SO unique that it shows you that everyone has their own path in life. While my favourite episode so far has been that of Sara Blakely of Spanx, this episode with Lisa Price is golden. She describes her own unique story and that after it all she still continued to choose her own path, no matter how “wrong” it appeared to others.
I hope this post inspired you to live your truest life. How are you striving to live YOUR story?

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6 comments

  1. Nadine says:

    Jessica, you’re such a blessing. I thank the Universe for you. I’m happy that you’re living YOUR story so that you can now empower us to live ours.

    Every word was a soul tap. Just two days ago I caught up with a dear friend whose words underlined the gems you’ve shared. I’m even more committed now to writing my story, editing it when necessary, and walking my path in truth and with joy.

    May you always be full, even as you nourish us with your words.

    Lots of love,

    Nadine

    • Jessica says:

      Hey Nadine,

      WOW!! Thank you so much for your kind and uplifting comment!! I’m also so thankful for you and so glad that my post helped you!! I love the way you described writing your story – including editing it when necessary, which is so important too!!

      Wishing you all the best in everything and thank you for all your blessings you have wished upon me!!

      Love,

      Jessica

  2. Pooja says:

    Your out of kitchen posts are always perfectly timed for me Jessica. It is like the universe is sending them to me when i need it most. I have been struggling a lot with some of my life decisions in the last few weeks, and this post really spoke to me. I must remember that i don’t have to live a life that others have chosen for me and I don’t have to do what everyone else is doing. Thank you so much for helping me focus.
    I am so sorry about Jodi, she sounds like a lovely person.

    • Jessica says:

      Hi Pooja!! I’m sorry I didn’t reply earlier, I thought I did! I’m so happy that this post helps and so sorry to hear you’ve been struggling with some of your life decisions. I really hope that they get resolved/you find solutions that help along the way and that you continue to find guidance and advice that helps you. I’m always here via email if you need to talk to someone :). You’re so welcome and thank you for your kind comment <3. Thank you so much re my friend Jodi she was a true angel!

      Love,

      Jessica

  3. Dawnelle Owens says:

    Awesome post Jessica! Everything you said I was nodding my head yes to. You being you has helped so many people! You’ve definitely helped me by sharing your recipes which I learned of at the perfect time. I was getting so frustrated trying to find things to eat with my new vegan and gluten free lifestyle which all started due to new food allergies. I don’t even want to imagine if you didn’t follow your heart because I know myself and tons of others would still be struggling in the food department. With all of that being said, I thank you for being you and you’ve been doing a phenomenal job!

    • Jessica says:

      Hi Dawnelle!!

      Aww thank you so much for your kind words!! You don’t know how much that means to me to know that I personally helped to make your life and journey!! It’s a perfect reminder to keep doing this. Thank you so much and I hope I keep helping you, always!!

      Love,

      Jessica

in the kitchen everyday

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